It looked like Mars
as I began by drive home
this evening:
orange and violent,
gawking at me
with blood and petulance.
It changed as I
neared home:
full and ripe,
it smelled of harvest
and work that lies ahead.
As dark approached,
it changed still:
warming to a soft,
100-watt glow.
I looked up to locate some stars,
but its light washed the sky
clean.
Cold drew closer,
as the night crawled inside me.
This is no werewolf moon;
no curs,
no mongrels
will howl tonight.
It is bright and friendly,
lighting Zoe's chocolate fur,
as she smells the air
under a star-speckled sky.
10 comments:
I have never left so rough a poem for you all to read. I feel the last stanza is a bit trite, but who knows? Who knows? Maybe I am losing it.
Good one...
i love it just the way it is :)
i love unedited poetry, i feel its very 'uncut' quality lends to it a certain natural beauty that would otherwise be lost in highly polished gloss, which almost feels false!
Trite? Not at all! :)
Hello Adran. Just found your site via Starlit Whispers. I'm liking what I see and read. I have a bad habbit of not editing my poetry very much, It comes out than I'm on to something else. Do you rewrite yours alot?
It depends on how committed I am to the piece. Sometimes, I write just to get things on paper. Other times, I really want a piece to sound its best, so I rewrite, and rewrite, and rewrite.
I reckon it's awesome, I write a lot of poetry myself, mines more raw though, very untamed, I've never been good with grammar doesn't come naturally with me but the words. They mean something to me, if you have the time please have a look. I've never grown used too rewriting just pausing and thinking and then writing again. I'm 16 though still learning, still learning....
It seems that you, too, have been gone for long. Aww, you're missed, dear. I do hope you are well, and that you continue to write. ^_^
Thank you for all of your wonderful comments.
Why have you stopped writing?
silence is a beauty, but this is quite the torture.i've enjoyed your works tremendously and hope to see more..?
much love.
another soul.
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